November 26, 2012

Embrace Fear

Want to know a secret? Fear has been one of my closest companions my whole life.

Here’s a fact, Fear is a strong source of motivation, sometimes the strongest. Here’s another fact, that motivation can get you to better places, the problem is that more often than not it seems to motivate you to turn and run in the opposite direction, or just freeze sporting the dumbest face you’re capable of.

Do you want to know another secret?  Fear probably just wants to help you to reach that better place but the wacko has not the best sense of direction so you need add your two cents too, it’s just trying to give you some advice, you can take it, ignore it, or bend it, letting Fear lead probably won’t end pretty well but once you turn it into a team work chances are that you weren’t condemned to doom after all.

This conversation happened last Wednesday regarding this illustration:

- Not your best, is it?

-...o_O…well it’s not that bad…

-She seems calculating, you should fix it

-…. yeah ….. a pity there’s no time, it’s going in the mail tomorrow morning, and it’s such a tiny area that is going to be difficult to lift it completely, and probably will look weirder after that, there’s no time to redo the whole thing if I ruin it, it really needs to be in the mail tomorrow blah blah blah…

-Change · it


Rest assured I was the one getting the blows. It’s unsettling to get that kind of straight feedback -not to mention nailed critique- right the night before I want to mail the thing. And all the blabber? That’s a lot of stupid excuses pouring out of my mouth as fast as Fear whispers them in my ear.

I’m always telling fellow painter friends to just go for a change they are pondering, that it won’t be ruined, that once you’ve done something you can do it again if bad comes to worse, and every time I’ve firmly believed every bit of it.

When you have something that you know is not working, and the chances are either leaving it as is (just to avoid ruining something that you know isn’t good enough), or changing it and maybe fixing it... it’s a no brainer, isn’t it? You go for it and make it better.

Now insert Fear and my own work: bye-bye no-brainer, hello brain shutdown, let’s hold hands and run up the hills.

And then is when being friends with Fear might be an advantage. Maybe - just maybe – I’ll give it a knowing look and say “hey why not trying to lift it? Imagine if I screw up, that’s gonna be the kind of panic attack that you’re going to love fueling, look forward to it while I rework this, will you?”

Yes, in the end it took more time arguing through that conversation and defending the case in my brain than it took to just get to the task and repaint that face.

It’s a fact that Fear is going to be there right by your side sometimes, so you might as well befriend it, enjoy your time together and make the best out of it!


Andy said...

Just wondering... was that a conversation you held with yourself? It sounds like one of my internal dialogues.

For what it's worth I like the improvements to her expression... but I know that wasn't the point of your post. Lovely to hear from you and, more importantly, see some more of your yummy illustrations.

Sharon Whitley said...

looks like you did the right thing going for it - the painting is wonderful!

Sharon Williamson said...

Ha, great post Teresa! You're right of course, fear can be your friend if you can recognise its potential to push your limits :-)

Pat said...

Great post, Teresa! Very wise - and befriending fear worked pretty well - the change is pretty good!

Teresa Palomar Lois said...

You too Andy? those dialogues go on and on and on all the time in my head, but *I hope* they are a good thing!
Sadfuly this one was real, I wasn't happy with that area, I had been having that internal conversation going on yet I wanted to believe it was one of those things that drives me crazy but nobody notices, so I emailed a couple of images to fish for feedback, not really mentioning what bothered me, hoping to get an appeasing ok, instead I got a confirmation of what I already knew, and yet I kept doubting wether to change it or not during the night, made the change right before heading to the post office, the fold line is viewable in the scaned image because the card was already written and in the envelope by the time I came to reason and changed it.
BTW I need an update of your recent artsy endeavours, are you painting at all?

Ladies, hey there! glad you liked it

Crystal Cook said...

Teresa I LOVE this post!! It's like you took a peek inside my mind, because this is exactly how I feel! Your illustration is so lovely my friend. I thought it was perfect before the fix, but now that I've seen the fix it looks even better. :)

Crystal Cook said...

I hope you don't mind if I share this post, because I plan to, but if you do just let me know and I"ll take it down. :)

Heather said...

Great post and illustration! Thanks for sharing, Crystal! Just love it, Teresa!

Teresa Palomar Lois said...

I love that you liked it enough to share it Crystal! Not only I don't mind, I'd even tight-hug you right now :)

Thanks Heather

RH Carpenter said...

Teresa, you mean you are not the fearless woman I think you are? Yes, you are! You did not let a little fear stop you - and that is truly brave! Beautiful illustration!

Teresa Palomar Lois said...

Sure Fearless is my middle name Rhonda LOL

Sadami said...

Dear Teresa,
Wish you Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.
Your post is very imformative and challenging readers. Regarding fear, I studied about it in psychology. But I leave it in your hand.
BTW, how's your illustration going? I've done a story board (*first plan) and am working on chracter design, roughs and developing images more and more. I hope 2013 will be a wonderful year for you. Take care.
Best wishes, Sadami

Teresa Palomar Lois said...

Happy holidays to you too Sadami :)

Starting the year with a book in the making? way to go dear Sadami!! you're a busy bee ^_^